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Foxborough, MA
The ramblings of one community member

Sunday, December 19, 2004

The Saga of the Bored Mother

I sometimes wish that my children had more imagination. Their wrongdoings are getting boring. Non-compliance is hard enough to deal with; the least they could do is make it interesting for me! I'm not suggesting that they throw a little wilding or drug use in there, but they could mix it up a little so that, instead of having to say repeatedly: "Stop running on the stairs." I could say: "Stop hopping on the stairs." See, I'm not asking for much.

My children could be parented by a tape recorder. I have no doubt that, were I to set up a tape recorder with a continual loop of Mom's Top Ten Hits (Put your shoes away, your socks don't belong in the kitchen, flush the toilet, wash your hands, put your dishes in the dishwasher, wear a hat, zip up your jacket, etc), my absence would take a while to register with my boys. It does my ego no good to know that it's hard to say when they'd actually report that absence!

I had no intention of being this kind of parent. No, flush with pregnancy and with no real understanding of the funkiness of children (even though I'm the oldest of seven and should have known better), I dreamed of a relationship with my children that had no basis in reality. I should have paid attention to the looks of pity that experienced mothers threw my way as I broadcast my stupidity in conversations with them. Perhaps this level of naivete is necessary for the survival of the species. If we knew that our children could bore us to death at times, would we have still had them? Every parent knows that the day will come when our children develop beliefs on matters such as politics that will differ from ours. We know there's a strong possibility that they will break our heart. We know that someday they will leave us and go on to create their own place in the world. But someone should have warned us that we would have to tell them 123,857 times to stop spitting on their brother!

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